Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Paris Hilton, It's All so Confusing...

I hate Paris Hilton on so many levels, but there's one level that's got me thinking.

When I think of her, I become a harsh, merciless irascible-mouthed person. At which point I feel ugly hearted, and I don't like myself. So that's the level I hate the most. She actually causes me to muse, 'what is her purpose for living?' I opine, if she died, the world would be a better place. How many people can you say that about?

Dear Paris' Mom,

*blinking cursor* *blinking cursor*


Another reason that I hate her is this: I feel that my thinking time is precious. Her behavior and persona are so obnoxious that I contemplate her existence, and I want those wasted mind-cells back.

So I heave a sigh and think, "It's all so confusing..." which leads me to talk about a recent disturbing trend with my thought patterns. Lately, after mentally sorting through something irritating, I find myself ending the thought as Meryl Streep playing the Devil in The Devil Wears Prada. Whenever she demanded the impossible and then was dissatisfied with results she would feign lamentation and confusion in this soft, gentle breezy sigh, almost to herself..."It's all so confusing."

This is what's happening in my mind and almost outloud regularly now, and it's alarming me. Great, now I'm the devil. My default settings for punctuating these mind-jogs used to be just a little sigh, and now this Miranda Priestly applet has been installed. Do we say 'applet' anymore? Well I need to uninstall that little sound clip.

I've always cringed at the word 'confusing'. I believe that there's almost nothing in life that's actually 'confusing', this is a word that is used passive aggressively by morons and lazy thinkers. There is such a thing in the world as nonsense. But that's not confusing, it's just nonsense. There are things that are too difficult to comprehend. But it's unlikely that such a thing would have the natural property of 'confused'; someone somewhere sees it clearly.

I know there is such a thing as confusing. It's just that my real world experience with usage of this word is negative. I've only heard it from dumb people trying to get out of thinking. I've seen it used as a control tactic on teachers, where I was a captive student, an innocent bystander. "I'm confused!" I was always dying to retort, "That's because you're dumb."

So now, I'm doing it. *sigh* It's all so confusing. I hate Paris Hilton.

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