Lost in Goodbyes

Today is one of my student's last days, he's leaving. He gave me the first season of Heroes on DVD as a goodbye present. I'm really going to miss him. Next week another student is leaving that's going to make the whole school sad. He's THE fun around here. Also that week, a teacher who started almost the same day I did is moving on.

This job is constant goodbyes, I've blogged about it before. This photo is the last scene from Lost in Translation. This scene shows what the movie was about. It's about not really making connections, and then making connections, but they're fleeting so it poses the question...how do we act? What is the nature of this relationship? It was hard for Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen to say goodbye, it was awkward because they hung out alot, but ...

In the hotel lobby when Bill was leaving, there was so much commotion, and she was just like..."ok bye" and it was nothing special. I've been there before. Well the very last scene he chases her down and forces a hug and says a proper goodbye. I don't know what she's feeling, but I know what I feel in these countless situations that I've had with the students in the last year. I feel like this picture looks. I'm sorry, I don't know how to act, it hurts, but I don't know what to say or do.

We exchange email addresses and pictures and sometimes there's a party. Tonight there's one for P. but I can't go. Does anyone else besides me know that the St. Elmo's Fire theme song has words...part of it says, time goes on, people touch and then they're gone. It's playing in my mind today.

Old Goodbyes

These two girls left some time ago, but I'll never forget them. The one in the center is Wendy and the one on the right is Cathy. The guy is Rocky. Wendy and Cathy were two of the most memorable people I've ever met in my life, they were always happy, fun, energetic, interesting, everything. They made me want to put on my pjs and have a sleepover. When Wendy left she pulled me out of class and started bawling in the hallway, I almost lost it. I kind of wish I had, for her sake. After these guys left I said, never again. I'm not getting attatched to these people, no matter how cute they are. Can I try not naming them? "Student number 1, sit over there, please." Ok, so I'm comparing them to cute pets, sorry about that. I'm just trying to describe heartfelt attatchment to fleeting things.

Goodbyes Again

Yesterday at lunch in a different restaurant, I heard the Goodbye Girl song again. It must be popular here. Sometimes I feel as though I do nothing but say goodbye to people.

More students are leaving again. These last two girls are making me sad. Tyra held on to me and wouldn't let me go forever. Her hair smelled really good. I just told her, "Your hair smells good." I had to explain to them that this good-bye thing happens to me a lot now and so I can't say anything, but I feel-feelings. I've quit telling the students how I feel. I can't do it anymore. It's easier to say 'give me your email address.' Actually that's what I was telling Tyra when I pried her pretty smelling being off my person, "I'll email you right away." "I'll email you right away." "I'll email you right away." She had these big croc tears.

She chose the name Tyra because of the Tyra Banks show and I would tease her about it. I told her if I ever catch a couple of minutes of that show, I can feel myself getting dumber. She says, well fine, I like America's Next Top Model better. Ok. I admit from time to time I find that show interesting. No where near as interesting as Project Runway though.

Some students here are majoring in Fashion, so we talk about Project Runway. They love it. I'm ready for a new season of that, I can tell you. It's the closest interest I have to being normal I think. For a girl. I probably would choose Project Runway over American Choppers, if they were both on at the same time. But that's only because AC tends to get redundant.

I think Natalie my email me some pictures so that I can post more here.

Photos Good-bye Martin (Can you take James with you?)

This is Martin, and Martin and James. The two Philippina teachers are Helen and Rose. Love them guys. These are Martin's pictures because he's leaving tomorrow and they happen to be on the computer just now. None of me yet.

Goodbye Doesn't Mean...

This morning I was sitting in McDonalds before work, and the sun was shining outside. I could see everything. There was a song playing loudly over the speaker from the Goodbye Girl... Goodbye, doesn't mean forever...doesn't mean I'm never going to see you again...

What a dreamy song, what a romantic morning.