I Hate To Be Mean and Student Nicknames

But...that "Amazing Grace" Asian version is playing again over the speakers here, and I'd love to post it on the internet somehow so people could hear how terrible it is.

My first class of the day is killing me.
My second class is exciting, but the students have decided that class should be over at noon and not 12:10 because they are hungry and I agree, but I'm getting in trouble. I'm told, just make them stay. I can't do it. They close everything and put on their backpacks. Class three is awesome. Class four nobody has been showing up because they are almost all partiers in that class and if they drag themselves out of bed for the 8:30 bell then they are finished by 3.

Konglish Nicknames

The students here choose nicknames. I have a student named "Ho", which is no problem with me, because I don't have a low class sense of humor. What does make me feel weird is saying, "Hi Ho!" When I see him.

Other students names:
"Linkin", of course after Linkin Park
"Worrick", after Worrick on CSI. (And we have a "Nick" tribute to CSI)

We had two friends come together and one chose "Ralph" and the other chose "Lauren", and they are always together. They are "Ralph Lauren".

We have a "Rocky",
a "Wilson", yes, after the volleyball.
We have a "DaVinch"...not DaVinci, just DaVinch. He doesn't like the way "DaVinci" sounds. Ok.

One student chose the name "Jhon", and insists on that spelling.
We have a student named "Chez", I don't know why.
(We don't use the French prononciation.)

One student chose the name "Funny" .
We had one named "Swash", I don't know the story there either.
We had a "Toto", and one of my favorite students, "Sunday"
...and
"Augustine" (was going to be a priest, now he's a rock star).

What's in a name?