Astig!

(There are references to MySpace in this entry, because this is a copy and pasted blog entry from that page. If you wanna see my totally awesome myspace page, it's www.myspace.com/jedimasterbooboo)
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Astig!


(Every Filipino anywhere near myspace is going to be in my blog pronto with a title like that.)

So what does astig mean? Well, I might not know exactly, but I can provide some context.

My friends know awhile back I was vexed while correcting exams and on myspace here I put up an update with one of those distressed constipated looking faces, remember? Well I was correcting my sixth grade exams and one after another was just a train wreck. Horrifying. I kept looking at the names on top, 'who is this person, is this person even in my class, did they take the wrong test?'

Well, I discovered that all the crappy tests were on top, that's all. So before I started rethinking my entire teaching strategy, I came upon one that was beyond perfect, and I was elated. I wrote on the test in red pen, "You Rock!" and I don't typically say cheesy things like that, it's not really my style. I was just so happy.

Later, I got a card and a flower from my 6th graders and on the card, it said "You Rock!", ha ha. Then once when I was checking assignments, one student failed to do the essay question, but where the answer was supposed to be, in red pen was this fancy lettering that said "You Rock!", she had really worked on that a long time. I said, this doesn't help you, you still need to answer the question. They're just amazed with that saying.

Anyway, the students are always saying Astig! and then laughing. When we play review games in class and they have to pick team names, one side always picks Astig! and everyone laughs. When they say, Astig, they make that sign with their fingers that's like "love" or "the devil", or something, (I always get those two mixed up). So I asked them, what does Astig mean? The sixth graders didn't really answer to my satisfaction, so I asked my 4th year students...

They laughed at me and said, "It means You Rock!" I guess all the students talk about how I wrote that on Alicen's test (or whoever it was). Word spreads. I remember with the Koreans it was the exact same thing, but that school was so small and the students lived in a dorm together. This was a bit more surprising.

In my second year class I was standing by the whiteboard once and lost my balance and fell over into the room divider, so the whole thing almost broke and swayed back and forth, I said, "that's not a wall". That was a Friday, on Monday in my 4th year class one of the guys said, "Hey that's not a wall, ok?" and pointed to the room divider.

Astig!

I found a photo to steal from flickr...this is nobody I know...That photo was called...Astig!

What? No Kimchee!?

Well I eluded to some issues with the Admin here at this school in my earlier post, here's more. The students put up with a lot here, and the Administration ignores them basicly. In fact, they're not even here today which is fun for the teachers, but there's nobody for the students to go to if they need something.

Here's the latest development that blew me away. They now have NO KIMCHEE in the cafeteria downstairs. Koreans eat kimchee morning, noon, and night. In Korea every family has two refigerators, one for stuff and one strictly for kimchee. The food at the college here is terrible, and the fact they had kimchee was one of their few redeeming qualities. Now...no more. The guy that makes it is in Korea, but the guy that makes it KNEW he was going to Korea, and this stuff is made WAY in advance, in fact that's how you have to do it. The older the better. Also, drum roll...it's sold here in the supermarket and they have a good relationship with Korean resstaurant owners here, and could get some that way also.

It's just one more middle finger to the students.
Plus, I'm pretty sure some of them are going into withdrawls. Some Koreans only travel on package tours with companies that can provide kimchee while they are abroad. It's a big deal.

OK, everyone will survivie, but I just hate what these guys go through when they get here. Thankfully, they almost without exception love the teachers and the classroom part of it all. My class that was acting up the other day not only apologized and did a complete 180...but they also love me to pieces. Nyah.

Never Heard of It

My students have no idea that most of the world calls this "The Great Wall". In Korean they call it something that translates to million mile castle. The word mile there literally translates to something like unit, but when they speak English, it sounds good to say 'million mile'...even though most everywhere in the world, miles are not used as a unit of measure. Interesting.

When my students ask me what this is called in English, it very often to degenerates to a "Who's on First" skit. "What do you call that?" "The Great Wall"

"Yes, what do you call that in English?"
"The Great Wall of China."
"Yes, what is the English word?"
"That's what we say, it's called the Great Wall of China."
"How do you say it in English?"
By this time the class is separated in to two teams. One side has started to understand and is now on my side trying to give an explanation. The Korean starts flying. If they are successful convincing the others that this is indeed what it's called:

"Oh! That's the name? The Greatest..."
"No! The Great Wall."
"Just The Great Wall"
"Yes, The Great Wall of China"
"Oh! So simple!"

The next part of class consists of students trying to convince me they have one in Korea. No, you don't. Yes! We do it's in North Korea. Ok you win. I'm sure it's just as big and wonderous and not just a "wall".

Another Rain Post!

I know I post about Rain a lot, he could probably have his own label on my blog, but I heard a Rain song today and I loved it. I had really never heard him sing before, but I have a new student, Kate, and she let me hear him on her MP3. I really liked it. She said that I was listening to his first hit. She also said she's going to make me a cd. My students are pretty disgusted with my lack of technology, and probably my wardrobe, lack of make up, hairstyle, attitude...whatever. Anyway, I love Rain. Man, it's hard to find a picture of him where he doesn't look so young. Eeesh.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=71374076

I found his MySpace profile, and actually if you go to my profile you can hear one of his songs. I just added it. Woo Hoo!

Monday

Readers have come to expect a certain amount of unexpected delight from me, and this post should deliver. Today was definitely a Monday chock-full of everything that gives this day its reputation. So here's a graphic for you.

Last night I drank vinegar, and I know it's good for me, but I almost think I had the urge to drink it because I'm going a little fruit-loopy lately. Vinegar is good for digestion by the way, but I was craving it for some reason.

Today was a mess and I sailed through it, I think, with the help of the vinegar that I consumed last night. Let me dream. We have so many new students here today who are starting class tomorrow, it's chaotic. I did an unexpected training class for some new hires during my free period, but that was not before cleaning up floods, changing rooms, schedules, and eating way too much at lunch. Everytime my butt starts to look even kind of sexy, I eat something dumb.

Normally, I don't think about my appearence too much (and it's apparent), but I do tend to visualize my innards now and again, like the above photo. This is a strange all-over-the-place rambling post, but I just wanted to share the love.

Come on Tuesday...

Anomaly in the Space-Time Continuum

I felt an unnatural affect today, maybe a ripple in the space time fabric? I know that this is shocking to so many that know me, but I remember the 70's [deal with it]. People rode around on roller skates with a transistor radio to their ear, maybe listening to dance!-boogeywonderland! ...maybe some Abba. [I have Dave's attention now, Did somebody say ABBA?]

I'm really from the Breakfast Club 80's generation, though, and we never thought that the 70's would come back. Never. In a hundred million years. Never. Well, it's 2007 now, and people are still wearing fashions influenced by the 70's era, which we could have sworn was an anti-fashion, fashion vacuum decade. I figured when the 70's clothes came in, it would last a few years tops. No, I was wrong and today, something jolted me. I had this weird cool wonderful science fiction experience.

One of the students here was carrying around this device and playing some song, the quality of it sounded really like a transistor radio. The fashion she's wearing could be right out of the 70's and her laughing carefree attitude fit right in as well.

But it took me a second to realize what she was holding...a PMP device! PMP mind you, is not just the very latest in technology, but it's something most of us couldn't imagine in the past without a dreamy futuristic context. There have been times throughout the years when people have expressed high hopes and predicted that someday the star-trek communicator days would come. The generation before me was the moon landing generation and they were pretty pie-in-the-sky with their future fantasies. The kids in elementary school in 1969 assumed that when they were adults every aspect of their lives would be push button ready. The 70's shattered their hopes and dreams, and then offered a brief glimmer of hope in 1978 with the release of A New Hope- Star Wars.

We were all stunned by that, but then the Reagan Era came in and steamrolled everybody and we tolerated Rambo part one two three four and whatever. People with sensibilities were punkrock angry.

Well, things have really exploded in technology over the last 10 years, but the fashion is retro, the treatment of women- worse than retro, violence- positively primeval, and so on. But today I didn't know what time or place it was when I saw this girl, holding a little device close that was emanating transistor radio sounds, but then seeing what she held and realizing, 'you've come a long way baby' If one is looking around with timeless eyes, now is interesting.

Ace!

Yesterday morning on my jeepney ride to work, along the way I spotted Ace standing on the side of the road. She's one of my fellow teachers here. She got on the Jeep and sat next to me, we were kind of happy to see eachother, like little kids. Even though I make that hour long ride daily, and most of the other teachers also take a Jeepney in, we really don't see each other. There are so many jeeps available, it was actually an odd thing.

She lives pretty close to the school, it's 10 pesos for her, it's 35 for me. For some reason that morning I hadn't paid yet. Ace said, "Did you pay yet?" Nope. So she paid for my ride too! Now I like her even more than I already did.

She's pretty interesting, she's worked in Saudi Arabia and different places. She's from Davao, which I'm told is one of the most beautiful places on earth. It's in Mindanao, but for some reason it's totally safe for foreigners. An American guy told me that he's been all over the Philippines some places with armed guards, but for that place, he doesn't even need a guide. Ace said, yeah, that's true. Anyway, I like Ace, she's a sweetheart.

Hey Farm Boy

We talked about our childhoods today, and James offered that he did the tradional Korean game with fire, where they make big circles. The way he was explaining it, I said, ew that sounds dangerous for kids, I wouldn't let my kid do that. And James said, "NO! Korean tradition!" like it's the best thing that ever happened. Juri, the girl across the table said, "No, I never done that.", James shot back, "She is not Korean."


Here's a picture of this tradition, looks pretty. The story is, that people in rural areas did this, and Juri is a Seoul city girl. Another student said that when he was a kid he did this and once he saw his friend's jacket set on fire, and sometimes they would accidentlly light a pile of rice that had been painstakingly harvested,"oops! ...and run away!" he said. The actually use big iron rods for this and then throw them in "the sea". I know that not everyone lives next to the sea, so maybe just some body of water.

When the students insisted this is a rural tradition, James argued, "No! All over Korea, people do this." OK James. We all know you're a farm boy, and there's nothing wrong with that.

That's Jack Fruit

What's that? Famous fruit of the Philippines, Jack Fruit. I'm assuming it can be found in other SE Asian countries as well. My students tell me this is expensive, but smells and tastes great.


Hey, what smells like garbage, did something die? No, that's Durian fruit. Some people say, 'oh it smells awful, but the taste is to die for.', NO...if you tell me I have to eat this again I might die, it tastes exactly the way it smells, and it makes your breath smell like garbage.

I had some Durian candy here at the school and it was so disgusting it was a joke to give it to people and watch their faces. First, the student is so delighted that the teacher has given them a candy, and then their face changes. It's pretty hilarious to see the reality set in. "What is this?" And then their breath. It stinks up the whole classroom. When new students arrived, if they annoyed the old students in any way, I would get a look from them..."teacher, he has not yet tried your candy". Man, we had fun, I haven't done that in awhile.

One classroom that I use is pretty small, it's for the 1:4 group and we had this really funny student named Young, she would purposely eat it and breathe it all over the other students, and we would all vacate the room. I'd bring in the incense.

I constantly heard from locals how great this fruit tastes, and I was like what kind of drugs are you guys on? Some of the staff here assure me that they do NOT like Durian, so it's not a Philippino thing altogether, just many people here are crazy.

Lost in Goodbyes

Today is one of my student's last days, he's leaving. He gave me the first season of Heroes on DVD as a goodbye present. I'm really going to miss him. Next week another student is leaving that's going to make the whole school sad. He's THE fun around here. Also that week, a teacher who started almost the same day I did is moving on.

This job is constant goodbyes, I've blogged about it before. This photo is the last scene from Lost in Translation. This scene shows what the movie was about. It's about not really making connections, and then making connections, but they're fleeting so it poses the question...how do we act? What is the nature of this relationship? It was hard for Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen to say goodbye, it was awkward because they hung out alot, but ...

In the hotel lobby when Bill was leaving, there was so much commotion, and she was just like..."ok bye" and it was nothing special. I've been there before. Well the very last scene he chases her down and forces a hug and says a proper goodbye. I don't know what she's feeling, but I know what I feel in these countless situations that I've had with the students in the last year. I feel like this picture looks. I'm sorry, I don't know how to act, it hurts, but I don't know what to say or do.

We exchange email addresses and pictures and sometimes there's a party. Tonight there's one for P. but I can't go. Does anyone else besides me know that the St. Elmo's Fire theme song has words...part of it says, time goes on, people touch and then they're gone. It's playing in my mind today.

Emails and Excuses

I really wanted an excuse to post this guy, and I don't have one, so I'm just posting it. Cute!
And now for something completely different...but still cute...
I got an email from the student that had a horrible entry into the UK. Here's a follow up.

ME: How are you?
answer: I'm fine except only my health. it's terrible. it depend on weather. i hate the weather in u.k. sometimes i felt really bad. i didn't know why i felt bad. i think weather is just problem. i worry a litter about my health. but i belive that time tell me to answer.

How is the school?
answer: the school's name is regent. i think the teaching system is good and there are many different student. it's good for me but, i think you're best teacher than all of teacher in u.k. because my school teacher always compart a indivisual to a public. i don't like it. for instance, ones time, my teacher didn't answer to a question because of time. at that time is finishing time her class. sometimes, i'm surprised person mind in u.k. however... never mind...^^

Are the teachers as awesome as me? (no, I'm better!)
No. you are best for me. ^^
bye.. thank you . have a nice day.
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No, I'm not embarrassed at all to beg for compliments!
I warn these guys about the weather in the UK, but so many of them don't want to hear it. It's a different world than the Philippines, let's just put it that way.

Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?

I have this black t-shirt with white lettering that says the above slogan. When I saw this online I thought, pure comic genius, so I bought it. I was surprised to learn how many people don't know the work of Pavlov, because I learned that in high school, not college or anything. But to so many people...nope, doesn't ring a bell.

I'm wearing this shirt today but ran into no problems with the students, they had no curiosity whatsoever about the shirt and I'm glad. Well my advanced class asked me, and they seemed to understand the explanation, I didn't think it would go that smoothly.

Today online I googled the above phrase to see if my t-shirt came up, but it didn't. Instead link after link after link of people using this line for various reasons on message boards and webpages. I guess it's a common joke. Go figure.

Dear Students,

I'm not your maid. I'm not even my maid. Don't leave stuff in my class for me to pick up. I don't want your old water bottles, balled up tissues, used old post-it notes that you don't want anymore, nothing like that. I'm not interested and it looks crappy. Take your dishes with you, your old coffee cups when you leave. Oh, your pen ran out? Throw it in the trash. It would be nice if you also took your body odor with you, but I have some incense for that. Have a nice day. See you tomorrow.

What?

My afternoon class has stopped doing this when I ask them a question. I'm so glad.

Also, Cute Konglish Of the Day:
S was wearing a tshirt with a cowgirl on it, one student said, "See, it's a cowboy girl."

100 Words For Yellow

Once my student MK told me, "I think it would be too hard for you to learn Korean." "Why is that?", I asked. "Because we have about one hundred words for 'yellow'." The other students said, "What?" "Ok," said MK, "maybe 99." Then he started listing all the shades of yellow in Korean and the other students started nodding, "Oh yes, maybe he's right.", they agreed. I think English has a lot of color words also, but I don't know about 99 and they are not commonly used.

A few minutes ago I walked by the sink in the hallway leading to the bathroom and it smells like butterscotch for some reason, and I had forgotten how much I love butterscotch.

Ok Justin! I see you!

My last post underneath this one got me to thinking. I posted it at lunch time and then was sitting here at the school in the lobby zoning out, trying to think a complete thought without interruption from the students...I'm thinking I clicked around on the jpod website and no less than three links came up for skateboarding stuff, and I'm wondering what Douglas Coupland's deal is with that, and if it's explained in the book jpod. What does an old guy like D.C. care about skateboarding so much?

At this point someone was trying really hard to get my attention, so I snapped out of my stupor to see Justin in my line of vision, "hi teacher!" He's wearing this shirt today that says, "SKATEBOARDING IS ON MY MIND" and there's a picture of this guy that looks kind of like my ex in contemplative thought. Yeesh...it reminds me of my post on my MySpace blog regarding the conspiracies of the universe.

Old Goodbyes

These two girls left some time ago, but I'll never forget them. The one in the center is Wendy and the one on the right is Cathy. The guy is Rocky. Wendy and Cathy were two of the most memorable people I've ever met in my life, they were always happy, fun, energetic, interesting, everything. They made me want to put on my pjs and have a sleepover. When Wendy left she pulled me out of class and started bawling in the hallway, I almost lost it. I kind of wish I had, for her sake. After these guys left I said, never again. I'm not getting attatched to these people, no matter how cute they are. Can I try not naming them? "Student number 1, sit over there, please." Ok, so I'm comparing them to cute pets, sorry about that. I'm just trying to describe heartfelt attatchment to fleeting things.

Lost in Translation

One of my favorite students of all time has just emailed me from the UK. I thought I'd share.
___________________________________________
Dear. theresa

I뭢 June. I'm in cambridge.

First day, I had many problem. It was that my bag was very heavy in the airport. I had to pay extra pee. But I have to money. Because my credit cart already broke. It gives me a serious problem. In finish on argument long time, I could take on my fight. However I could arrive in London. But my problem didn뭪 finish. When I arrived the airport, I didn뭪 pass the customs desk. Because my school letter was in my hard luggage. I felt very upset. And it seems to be other people like coolness. Nobody interested me. Nobody wanted to know me.

However when I could go to out in the airport, it was at night. I was pulling my heavy bag, nobody helped me. I slept on a chair in this airport. I felt lonely. But I didn뭪 sad. ?

Next day in morning, I bought a ticket to go the Cambridge. I took on the bus with some meals. At that time, I was decided to get strong mind. And I took off my top cloth. Because I need a courage. When I arrived the Cambridge, I searched my homestay myself.

However, I still have my lock. because There are very kind of mother and brother.
I like them and their make food. it's a redeeming feature in a tragic affair.

By the way, I뭢 not accommodation in UK life style yet. And I have jetlag. But I don뭪 worry. I believe that time give me to answer.
I want you to give me courage. Thank you. And I promise that I can live here well.

P.S - I really like you. and could you do me a favor?
I want to fix my write if you want it. I really need to help..(T...T)
can I spend you my wirte about every issue?

You Guys March Funny

I know quite a bit about South Korean's viewpoints on North Korea. I know more about North Korea than your average American, and I'm trying to put together a coherent post on something related to that, but I'm still working on the concept. I've found so many interesting pictures, and normally my blog entries don't have a lot of pictures, it makes the entry cumbersome. So do I have a series on North and South? Why not. Anyway, this is all coming soon, I'm saving pictures to the computer here.

My students have talked about this subject extensively. North Koreans are their family, they express. They really want unity. The students that say no to unity do so for pragmatic reasons, they can't see how it could be accomplished, and they don't want anyone getting hurt. Animosity that students have toward the US is often times North Korea related (or free trade-related). The US has been a force that has worked to estrange the two countries even further, I'm told. I have a bit of a fascination with North Korea, there is no other country like it. It's so small and so heavily controlled. It makes Cuba look like Disneyland,sponsored by Coke.

One thing I can say about this picture, I saw an excellent British documentary on North Korea, it was shown on the Discovery Channel a few months back, but here we get Discovery Channel Asia, which is not the same in the US. So, I don't know how many people at home got to see this, it was superb, so fascinating. Their military soldiers march like mad-men, I'm riveted! North Korean families watch on television from their homes (one channel, all government, all the time) and teach their children, "Look there's not another army in the world like ours. No other country has an army like this." They may be right.

Koreans Don't Know Kermit

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Muppet Movie (if you ask "which one" please scratch me off your friends list, there are few questions I hear in life that are more rediculous than that one).

Koreans do not know Muppets. Here in the Philippines there are Sesame Street VCD's and DVD's for sale everywhere, Elmo seems to be well known. I assumed that Jim Henson creations were an export to everywhere just like any other hugely popular culture icons. It surprises me what South Koreans have exposure to and what they don't. It's hit and miss. So any reference I've made to the Muppets is for naught.